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Photo by Adrienne Mah. Like pretty much all the other mammals cohabiting planet Earth, the cheapo is hardwired at an animal level to find a mate and get jiggy. In this article, we hope to assist fellow cheapos living in or visiting Tokyo with some tips and pointers for economically achieving success in this arena. Never in the history of humankind has there been such an abundance and density of humans living amongst one another. While Tokyo is vast and densely populated, the central areas provide the most opportunity and likelihood for meeting future loved ones. Shimbashi, Akasaka and Yurakucho are the haunts of salarymen.

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Tokyo is without doubt one of the safest cities on the planet at least in terms of crime; earthquakes, tsunami and Godzilla notwithstanding. And there are many tales of the police being uncooperative in helping tourists trying to file crime reports, etc. One possible exception is host bars.

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The intrepid can take advantage of these deals, but a few rules of thumb: 1 Speak some Japanese or take a friend who does to make sure the deal is clear. Or perhaps you just fancy a change from the aforementioned pokey apartment. As a rule, the cheapest place is never the first one you come to.

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Another consideration with love hotels is that you often end up getting what you pay for-the absolute cheapest option is often a poor value proposition, so paying slightly more than the minimum will get you considerably better value.

Some hotels offer point cards-though you might want to keep your card to yourself if you are taking multiple paramours to the same spot.

Be warned: rumor has it that some karaoke booths have cameras installed. What karaoke booths do have going for them is that they have actual doors and ceilings, as opposed to manga cafe booths, which tend toward open-ceiling-ed cubicles with half doors that are easy to peer over or under.

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Also, karaoke will muffle any suspect sounds, while the manga cafes are much quieter and lack actual walls. For the naturalist cheapo, Tokyo provides fewer outdoor options than most cities, but there are some good spots if you know where to look. A certain number of apartment blocks have no main access door, so you can just walk in and head straight for the roof.

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And then there are cemeteries-people the world over are frightened to venture into the resting places of the dead after dark, so a big graveyard may just make the perfect spot for some privacy in the early hours.

Bridges over major roads are also strategic, as road signs provide ample cover from the cars below, and pedestrians-if any at 4am-are probably too drunk or tired to be of any concern.

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They also have a decent selection of sex toys, from dancing with yourself vibrators, Fleshlights, etc. Here are some cheap and free STI clinics in Tokyo:.

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Shinjuku: Free STI testing twice a month. Consent is not something that should get lost in translation.

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Tokyo and the people who inhabit it are not a playground; in all matters, proceed with explicit consent only! Don't miss a single petal with our cherry blossom forecast map for Tokyo and surrounding prefectures. Tokyo Closet Ball is the leading provider of English-language gender-subversive entertainment in the city. Get our Tokyo Cheapo Hacks direct to your inbox Send me the tips! September 1st, Chris Kirkland.

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One of the most populated cities in the world. Neon lights of Tokyo nightlife.

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Nightclubs can be wild and wildly expensive here. Photo by dat' used under CC.

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Party in the park. A night out on the town. Perhaps both.

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Photo by Chris Kirkland. Avoid these signs! And these!

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